Greetings,

Advent is upon us. This begins our new liturgical year in our Catholic Church. The Advent season is a time for us to prepare, to get ready for the coming of the Incarnation. God is coming to visit poor humanity in the person of Jesus Christ. It is important for us to be awake and ready to celebrate this profound mystery. God has become a human being first at Jesus conception nine months ago at the Annunciation.  And in close to a month, He will be born as a little baby at Bethlehem.  Do we realize what an incredible gift God has given to us in the person of Jesus? Jesus is the Messiah, the Son of God, God himself! He is the fulfillment of the Old Testament. He is what all of the stories of old point to. He forgives and redeems Adam and Eve, Noah, Abraham, Moses, King David and all of the prophets. Jesus is our savior and is the culmination of everything God was trying to reveal to the ancient peoples. He begins and develops the early church with his Apostles and disciples. Jesus gets the word out that there is something better waiting for us than this life. Eternal life is the goal and reward for all of us who are willing to practice our faith daily putting God first. The purpose of life is to go to heaven when we die and to help influence as many people as possible to choose life in heaven. That is what we call authentic love. And it is our Lord who teaches us authentic love by his willingness to come and live amongst us as one of us. He will live his life of thirty-three years, changing the course of human history. And yet, let us keep our focus, for the time being on the mystery we have before us. This is the season to prepare ourselves, to get ready for his coming. Frequenting the sacraments, especially Confession and Eucharist at daily Mass, can be very helpful in our conversion process, making our hearts ready to receive Him. Our God is a God of love and to love with his love means we have to put into action his ways and plans for us. Life is not easy, but the more we get it right with a good and genuine, open and sincere heart, the peace and joy that surpasses all understanding will come our way more and more. We are called to bring a little piece of heaven down here into our hearts and to share that love with one another. Advent is a wonderful way to begin or continue to deepen our conversion and to make that process happen.

Peace, Fr. Tom

Greetings,

Thanksgiving is rapidly approaching.  It is a time to get together with family and share what’s important in one’s life, hear what’s going in other family members lives, or to just be together.  For many it will be a wonderful time being with mom and dad, brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, and of course our own family.  For other’s it can be a very painful time.  Some may have lost a loved one, or have no one to spend the holiday’s with.  Some may come from very difficult family backgrounds and find being with family hard and painful.  I would like to offer some insights and possible suggestions that might help make time with family more enjoyable and positive during any holiday visit.  I believe these skills to be universal and helpful for any situation¦

-When we get together with family, remember that each of the members was born and grew up together sharing a common history.  This can make discussions and disagreements more intensely emotional.  If we are aware of this when sharing about ourselves or listening to others share, we can make an intentional choice to be more generous in our hearing.

-Be careful not to fall into a judgmental attitude or perspective.  We can always judge behavior to be right or wrong based on our values and convictions but not the person.  To judge a person and their possible motivation is to say basically that they are defined as being bad, wrong, or worthless.  This type of relating attacks the person and can create a deep shame response.  We are all defined as being children of God, made in his image and likeness. Each and every one of us deserves the love and respect that comes with that.

-Developing and using good communications skills means that we will work hard at trying to understand where others are coming from.  We will value and respect them regardless of where they are at, whether we agree with them or not.  But before we can disagree with them, it is critical for us to work at helping them feel heard and respected.  Only after one feels like they have been heard and listened to, then normally, we can disagree all day long and it should be okay.  It is when our family, friends, co-workers, and acquaintances do not feel heard that they will feel discounted or disrespected.

-It is very important that we are sensitive and aware of our own issues, so as not to misinterpret where others may be coming from.  Our own baggage, hurts and wounds, from growing up or from others later in life, can cause us to misinterpret and judge poorly another€™s motivations.  Remember that we all have our own stuff and to try to work hard at being gentle and kind with one another.

-Our family is very unique and special.  All families have their strengths, weaknesses, limitations, frailties, and gifts.  Our goal when coming together with family should be to love each other as authentically as possible.  This is hard work, but the more we get it right and love well with a Christ-like love, the more healing and strength we can give to those around us and draw from being together.

A strong and consistent prayer life will help us into a deeper friendship with our Lord and allow us to develop and grow stronger in good healthy communication skills.  It is God that gives us the ability to be good.  Gentleness, kindness, openness, honesty, generosity, and charity all come from the blessings and graces God wants to give us, which are the fruit of our prayer.  I hope this is helpful€¦  I wish everyone a loving and healthy holiday season!

Peace, Fr. Tom